I’m tired of empty words. I’m ready for a life of unbroken promises. I’m ready to wake up

i wish you understood the battle i’m fighting within myself and the front i’m putting on, just so you think i’m okay. just so everyone thinks i’m okay. i can’t break down in front of you

courage, strength, hope, …it’s all there. and you can see it playing in your head.

and it all still feels — i still feel — the same.

they never do. i need to find someone who i don’t have to lie to, or about, to keep everyone happy.

i guess i had my hopes up too high. note to self: keep your hopes down low. my dad always said that there was no reason to be unhappy if you were doing the right thing.

you know, it’ll be your fault. because in this false-reality i am never wrong. do you understand? this may end up in places i don’t want to go.

it seems to be something i can’t control. (somewhat like my newly discovered sleepwalking/talking talents.)

if i stay where i am, nothing will change. nothing will ever get better. if i do what i want, all hell will break loose. to put it simply, i am a coward.

it’s their loss. i don’t care if they never get to know their only great-grandson and nephew. he’s my son, not theirs.

don’t you realize that you’re going to get caught in your lies? i’m just about done. i’m just about sick of this. but i’m not sure if it’s enough to make me sick of you.

it’s not like i meant for any of this to happen. i wanted everything for you, for us. i just need to let go for good.