1:42pm lately, there aren’t many days that i feel the need to write to let go of everything i don’t need in order to survive. bad days still show their face, but they aren’t so much days as they are minutes. the change that takes place when someone amazing enters your life is almost unreal. [...]

love is terrifying after you’ve been hurt to the degree i have been. why would i feel this way if there wasn’t a reason? i’m so afraid of getting hurt again. how can i trust myself to do things the right way? things get complicated way too quickly.

Go ahead and sell me more. Oh, yes I love to hear every word you say. So let it out, don’t let it stay, ’cause that’s what kills and that’s what hurts (when you’re stuck inside and you can’t get out). But here’s what’s worse: When you have to lie because you’re stuck inside your [...]

i don’t know if i can ever love like i used to. too many skeletons, too many fears. all the hurt wells up before i even dream of letting myself get so close. i can’t let you in and i can’t let me out. if there were an easier way to do this, i would [...]

I’ve been praying for someone like you. Someone who is ok with the majority of me, and someone who wants and needs the same things I do. Maybe I’ve found you. Maybe youre just the first of many that could fit. I finally feel like I know where I’m going, and you’re not going to [...]

i think you’re right. leaving would be best for everyone. you have no control. you show no respect. i wish i would’ve gotten out of all this when i had the chance the first time. you’re too chicken shit to go through with it. i’m to nice to say it like it is and make [...]

“It’s a curious thing, the death of a loved one. It’s like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down through the air, and there’s a sickly moment of dark surprise.” – Lemony Snicket (describing the death of a [...]

11/10/10 – 10:00PM these tools weren’t meant for this. i can find this meaning out of anything. you’re burning our future. why can’t you burn your past? it’s time to let go of those secrets. she’s got the gift of one-liners and the curse of words. it’s time to find me again. i’ll always have [...]

my mind is everywhere. days are bleeding again. nothing seems solid. nothing is stable anymore aside from the chaos. it’s everywhere. even in my sleep. i can’t sort out what is real and what i hope isn’t real. i don’t know how i got stuck. but here i am. i don’t know how much longer [...]

It’s times like now when I miss it. You don’t insult a subject that close and expect me to be ok with it. swallow your pride already. I’ve had enough of the bullshit and you know you’re pushing limits again. Making jokes of death and how long it takes for the hurt to pass is [...]

this alternate reality is sinking too deep. a never-ending ritual. it’s catatonic. but there are two. home. then work. i need to get grounded again. both feet planted. but i’ve got nowhere to stand. it’s all a mess. nothing there, nothing here. i wish you were out of my head. just when i thought everything [...]

it’s another day, bled from the last one. no sleep means no feeling. and that’s better than pain. but sometimes the pain inside has to come to the surface. when you see evidence of the pain inside you finally know you’re really here. then, when you watch it all heal, it’s comforting. it’s not something [...]