you know, it’ll be your fault. because in this false-reality i am never wrong. do you understand? this may end up in places i don’t want to go.

it seems to be something i can’t control. (somewhat like my newly discovered sleepwalking/talking talents.)

if i stay where i am, nothing will change. nothing will ever get better. if i do what i want, all hell will break loose. to put it simply, i am a coward.

it’s their loss. i don’t care if they never get to know their only great-grandson and nephew. he’s my son, not theirs.

don’t you realize that you’re going to get caught in your lies? i’m just about done. i’m just about sick of this. but i’m not sure if it’s enough to make me sick of you.

it’s not like i meant for any of this to happen. i wanted everything for you, for us. i just need to let go for good.

you’ve screwed yourself way too deep this time. please just don’t speak. not to me, not to anyone.

i still can’t say it out loud, or in this case type it without backspacing. i guess i’m ashamed.

my heartstrings are being tugged in a few directions, but that’s what i expected to happen when i started talking to you.

in the end, everyone just ends up disappointing themselves and everyone else. maybe i just shouldn’t try anymore.

what if you knew, would that change how you treated everyone?

even if there’s no way of knowing where to go, i promise i’m going. because i’ve got to get out of here.