“survivor meme”

10.february.2010
11:28pm

[insert picture here, again.]

one of my good friends tagged me in this on her blog, i thought i’d give it a try. i’m going to write 25 needs i have as a survivor and 5 wants. and i’m supposed to tag 5 people at the end..we’ll see how far i can get with this. here we go!…

needs(not in any order):
1. i need to feel alive.
2. i need to feel loved, wanted, and adored by someone who i love romantically, not just a friend.
3. i need to have more confidence in myself.
4. i need to have more patience, because being a mom requires more than i’m used to sometimes.
5. i need to let go of things and people that have hurt me. but not forget.
6. i need to be stronger.
7. i need to try to understand so that i can release the anger and hate that i’ve suppressed.
8. i need to learn to not be afriad. and to not be afraid to open up and let my emotions out every now and then.
9. i need to feel beautiful. and sometimes feel sexy. mostly, i need to not feel like an object, which is why i said beautiful.
10. i need to feel like i’m needed, and actually be needed at the same time.
11. i need to find additional sources of positive motivation.
12. i need to break free of my self-destructive habits.
13. i need to write more often.
14. i need friends. i really need a best friend that won’t turn on me over something stupid, or even over something huge.
15. i need a babysitter every now and then so i can have a minute to relax and be alone.
16. i need help to overcome my fears.
17. i need insurance or more money so i can get the professional help that i know i need.
18. i need to rediscover faith and trust.
19. i need to break down so i can get back up.
20. i need to come home to a clean house every now and then so i don’t feel like i’m paying all the bills and doing all the housework. i guess i should say, i need a little balance and order once in awhile.
21. i need to make time for me.
22. i need to sleep through the night when i go to bed at decent times.
23. i need someone to listen to me sometimes, and to respond.
24. i need to finish things i start.
25. i need my dad. but that one won’t happen. x(

wants(also, not in order):
1. i want to get a massage and facial, once per week would be nice. but i’d settle for every other month.
2. i want to have a baby girl of my own someday. just not right this second.
3. i want to get married and actually have things work out this time.
4. i want to be the first person EVER to do something. (from walking on the moon type things or just inventing something, i want to be the first so that my name will be in some sort of history book.)
5. i want to make a difference for unselfish reasons. and i want to make a difference for selfish reasons sometimes and not be judged for it.

review..everything on the list came surprisingly easier than i thought. i thought that thinking of 25 needs would take hours, but that took less than 30 minutes. i’m pretty proud of myself. i think the hardest part, now, will be tagging 5 other people. i’m going to cheat and tag corinne, even though she tagged me first. maybe i can think of 5 more besides her…let’s see…

tag:
1. corinne at picture of experience ♥♥
2. jessica on facebook (because if she has a blog i don’t know what it is)
3. jordan at (i’ll tag it in the morning. i can’t find the link to her blog) because we’re a lot alike, but hopefully for you’re sake you’re not a survivor. idk but ily.
4. vanity at (again, tag in the am) not sure if you’re a survivor, but i love ya.
5. chawntae on facebook(tag in am)♥